Sunday, March 22, 2009

I love MYself :)

I don't know what is happening , but off late I am meeting people , who somehow I feel are not happy about themselves . So this is to all of them .

I think the one thing which one should incorporate in order to be confident and happy is "Love your self " . A very dear friend once told me , " Be what you are and you will never be ashamed of anything at the dusk of your life " . So true , so very true :) if only we love ourself , we begin to love the world .
The logic behind this is simple ,

we love ourself --> we behave as we are :) --> We Do not put masks --> Things are simple --->Our Relations are less complex ---> people in turn love us --> Those who don't love us at least would respect the fact " that we are transparent -- --> We are confident of what we are ---> Everything is simple and beautiful around : )

More than any logic , loving your self would make you smile and smiling is one of the greatest asset that we have . right?

People have strange excuses to hate themselves .. let me share some of them with you .

" I can't forgive myself , I have committed something terrible " - This is one of the most common reasons to hate one self . We are humans and we do make mistakes , and the guilt of hurting someone is so disturbing that we tend to hurt our self . The thing is that we all make mistakes , and the right approach of taking this is to realize the mistake and to ensure that the mistake is not repeated , yet if one does seek salvation than one should do something that fits the purpose . Instead of punishing one self , one should help someone who desperately needs it . That's a great way to achieve salvation .It truly is !
No one is perfect , but that does not mean we start hating our self . We have to accept this fact . But of course that does not mean that we start hurting people and then help another group of people because that would defeat the very purpose of helping . One should not only "realize the impact of the mistake made - but also regret it and hence ensure that he/she does not hurt anyone intentionally anymore , but this regret should not lead to destruction or depression. Instead we should try to convert this regret into positive energy and help the needy .


Then there are those who simply are not happy with what they are .
We all should really thank almighty for what we have been gifted . We have the privilege to be free, to do anything that we want . I happened to see a video of a person named , " Nick Vujicic" - He is born without Limbs . Imagine a life without limbs - seems impossible right !! But that man is living such a life and that too with Dignity , ironically here are we who have been gifted with a perfectly healthy body and yet we still curse our fate and hate our self instead of thanking God for the gift we have been blessed with .
We should not compare ourselves with people who "we feel" are more beautiful / more happy / more successful and then beginning to hate ourselves because we feel we don't have what others have . Actually We should compare ourselves with people who "we feel" are not happy and are suffering, people who are not as lucky as we are . Only then we would be able to thank god for what he has gifted us with .

There are many people who are so angry with themselves , that they are constantly nagging and as a result are always angry with everyone around . The main reason I think why people are so upset is that they are not happy with themselves . The moment they start loving themselves , everything around them would be beautiful :)


There are however certain "Precautions " to be followed :D
We should not get obsesses with our self in the pretext of loving ourselves . That would really defeat the purpose . I am sure all of us agree that excess of anything is bad , so is the case with loving yourself .Excess of self love would make us arrogant and self centered , which would lead to self destruction , just like hating yourself did .
Thus one should love oneself till the extent one is happy, confident and is able to spread the smile around :) The moment one's happiness is the reason for another's sadness we should realize that we are going wrong .


have a look at the video -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtweZxNGk1Y

60 comments:

aboli said...

very true...

Arnav said...

@ Aboli
Thanks for visiting :)

ninju said...

well written ( when did you start giving self help courses i wonder) :)

Arnav said...

@ninju -
Well Thanks :)

Arnab Majumdar said...

It's very true that you have to see things in a positive light, to be able to stay happy in life... and that's pretty much the main point of life itself. Loving yourself is definitely important, for if you cannot love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?

I've heard of that man, Nick Vujicic. I saw one of his videos too, very inspirational as well...

Nicely written there man... Cheers, keep writing...

Arnav said...

@Arnab
Thanks for the visit :)

The best thing about Nick is not that he lives his life with dignity but that he is able to "love himself / love God and love others " :)

A Poetess said...

very positive..I'd like to point out a situation which you left out though..sometimes people don't hate themselves..they hate the circumstance they are put in..and why pray they don't change those circumstances you might ask? to that I'll say it takes time,but being positive all the time is nigh impossible to such born pessimists like them which includes me. but that for a moment does not mean i did not enjoy the read. thanks.
cheers
me :)

Arnav said...

@Poetess
THanks for visiting the blog ..
Do read the other articles under "happiness" ...

well I did not include that because I was writing abt "Loving oneself and Hating oneself " ... and not hating the circumstances and being unhappy due to that ....
( I have a written something on this : )

http://arnavspeaks.blogspot.com/2008/11/reason-to-smile-transition-needed.html)

Agreed it takes time to change the circumstances.. but a positive spirit helps after all its al in the mind .. If one is willing to seek positive energy always nothing can stop him .. :)

Towards reclamation said...

hmmm .. i just read mahesh's post and now yours ..
agreed . it's nice to find people whose views concur with mine ..
:)

Arnav said...

@Siddharth
Thanks for visiting :)
well yup it does feel good to find ppl whose views match with ours :)

Pallav said...

Arnav... i love ur blogs bcz they r written straight from heart. everytime u hv something special to write.. which always stirrs me..

when i was reading the blog i ws thinking, tht all is right but one should not be self obessed. it should not be tht he/she only know how to love oneself, but u hv covered tht also..

My funda n mantra of life and which i gv to my friends, wen they say how can u live ur life so lively...
i tell them,, crib a lot if u wanna crib bcz it will help u to clear whtever u hv in ur heart and then move.... i follow instead of keeping grudges n regret against anythng, anyone, or for any mistake - by someone or by own, why cant u forgive and leave it, move on..
life is small, we all have limited life blessed by god and in tht also if keep on cribbing and keep grudeges against anything, half of the life we have wasted on such. things.

so i follow we should love whatever we have, we should be thankful to god atleast he had gvn u ths..
i alwasy see down wen i feel low n i find thr r people who r more pity then me, thier life is so awful...n this thing only gv me motivation and I thank god for all tht he had gvn me ..

very nicely written..
a hard core truth and fact

Cheers:)
May God Bless uuu

Arnav said...

@ Pallav

Thanks a lot Pallav ... :)

Very few people understand the meaning of "forgive and move on ", and not to say it is difficult to follow too , but yes once followed the life becomes a blessing :)

sp.ajay said...

everything in life can be given a new direction- except death.

Cursed♪♫ said...

Nice post.
It'll really help the ones who have a low esteem about themselves.
Like, it helped me! :)
Thanks!
You have a nice blog!

Arnav said...

@ Sp.Ajay
Thanks for the visit :)


@ Juhi
Thanks a lot :)
Feels good to know that I could be of help to someone :)
keep smiling

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Well...frankly speaking this post reflects my own philosophy..:)

Possibly most of them suffer with this p[roblem which if taken seriously, is a very simple thing...

I liked this post becuase this post was asking me the question again and again while i was reading whether "i love myself ?" and i think i smiled and she kept quiet.

This guy Nick Vujicic brought tears in my eyes yaar..That day when i watched this, i literally cried many times over myself being so paranoid.
I don't know how do you take suggestions, but let me know about it.I have one small one waiting for you...

I will come again to have a look after other things here..

till then

Cheers...
Mahesh

Arnav said...

@Mahesh

Thanks :)

Nick really touched me too yaar , I mean such an epitome of positivity is rare.. :)

I am always open to suggestions :) it provides a right way to improve :)

Please do keep coming :)

Arnav said...

Well many people have been asking who is the friend who told me ,

" Be what you are and you will never be ashamed of anything at the dusk of your life "
The link to the dear friend's blog is

http://2eej.blogspot.com

Netika Lumb said...

Hi arnab,

I really liked what you wrote. and I totally second your thought.. I don't know how can anyone not love life. See, I see it like this. The only gift god gave us was/is life. What we do is, we don't utilize it to the max, but, what we definitely do is ask him for other gifts that shall make this large gift work(or so we think). I understand this concept- Moving from Micro to Macro but what I don't get is-not graduating to the Marco once you have achieved even a miniscule part of the Micro. You get stuck coz you have your own definitions of "how things will work". Again understandable. I mean, why else has god gives us brains? But, don't go around disliking things that shall actually help you like the little nothings.

Incidentally even I wrote a post sometime back on similar lines- An encounter with God. :)

Netika Lumb said...

oh god what do I do??? I am sorry again, its ARNAV.. and I promise this is the last time I am making this mistake.

Arnav said...

@ Netika

Just as when I was going to mention my name is Arnav .. you posted another comment :)
Its ok there are 2 arnaB in the blogspace which are common to us so its understandable that one gets confused :)

Thanks for your comments : )
very well said.. at times I 2 wander what exactly makes ppl hate themselves , I mean actually it reflects on the true conscience of that person - yet as we know excess of everything is bad ...so this Xtra conscience ends up hurting the person..

will read your blog soon ..

Jaya said...

Simply superb Arnav...this is the reason why I love to read ur blogs...u write about the basics of life in a very simple and convincing manner..ur words describe the true meaning of life...as I hav said earlier, that u dont write somthing extraordinary..its just that ur writings are so original, that it directly touches heart...!!!

Arnav said...

@ Jaya

Thanks a lot :)

Invi said...

Hello !!!!!!!!
Can't find words :(

(padha nahi hai abhi poora .... 2 long yaar )

Still good wrk !!!

Amrita~Ams said...

so true..sumthing i want to write..
u got a nice and simple blog :)
enjoy n tc..

P>S:I luv myself..I m my favourite ;)

Arnav said...

@Amrita

Thanks a lot :)

keep visiting..

Kartz said...

If one does not love oneself, what is the point in living..? Thus spake the quintessential egotist. Me.

Neat post, dude. Keep writing. Spread the voice.

Peace.

---
@sp.ajay
Well, views on death can be given another direction. Death, as I see it, is not an end.

Peace.

Keshi said...

guess what...ur not the only person who loves yourself..cos Im starting to love who u r too, cos I love ur attitude! ;-)


**Be what you are and you will never be ashamed of anything at the dusk of your life

Spot on!

I wish more ppl thought this way.


I love who I am, with all my flaws and with all of my highs n lows...I am who I am and Im in love! :)


Keshi.

Arnav said...

@ Keshi
Thanks for visiting dude :)

Diva said...

On the contrary, I would say that you should love yourself, but only to a certain extent... else the love would turn into vanity, self-obsession, selfishness and jealousy towards others... In my mind, loving others more than yourself is what matters!!!
Also, if you love yourself... sometimes you start to think you are perfect and you stop progressing as a person..
Prolly I am saying this cos I am never satisfied with what I am at the moment and want to be better each day, in order to love myself someday!!!

Peace
Diva

P.S: thanks for visiting my blog

Little Girl Lost said...

arnav,
thank you very much for this post. It certainly made my morning. Being positive is so easy, but we always manage to forget how to do it. I loved ur blog because what u write seems to be straight from the heart…
thank you also for visiting me n comment ing. If you liked my blog please become a follower so that you can read when I write something new and give feedback…
I’ll definitely be back!!

Arnav said...

@ DIvya
Thanks for visiting my blog :)
I did mention that one should love oneself only to some extent.. else it would lead to obsession just like excess of everything is bad..
And I dnt think u can love others till u love urslef to a extent.. coz if u dnt love urself ( or like urslef) then ur love 4r the other person sooner or later turns into jealousy and we aspire to be like that or like he/she wants - coz we are not happy with ourselves - the end result is sadness...
so I think the beginning is love ur self .. coz then u respect urself / adore urslef and then you would not feel the need to be "like" someone...
But ofcourse I do not mean that one should not improve .. of course one should.. but first love the inner most part of u ur "soul" then u can always polish it .. :)

Arnav said...

@Little Girl Lost ..

Thanks for visiting :)

Rakesh Vanamali said...

This is so true! Someone who loves his / her self loves the realm outside of his / her person!

Very well written! I'm glad I chanced upon ur blog!

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Am blogrolling U!

Arnav said...

@ Rakesh
THanks a lot for your visit :)

MAN IN PAINTING said...

Very very true Arnav...
Loving oneself amd loving the world are one..actually we are always in self love..the world unless become our part can never be seen...
very nice,
liked it
wishes..
take care
peace.

Arnav said...

@Man in painting

Thanks for Visiting :)

Usha Pisharody said...

The logic is excruciatingly simple and just for that, it never works much, as much as it should, isn't it? Simple things in life are sometimes the hardest to do.

To just be happy that one is oneself, and not anyone else. And it is darned achievable too. Simple too. Perhaps that is why not many want to!

We have now become more fond of complicating things, and we forget the true nature within, and loving ourselves in the truest manner ther is.

Loved the soul search in this post!

Thanks! For the visit, again, to my blog, too!

And yes, the template, is common, and somehow, notions too, I feel. Empathy :)

Arnav said...

@ Usha
Thanks a lot for the visit .

True , " Simple things in life are sometimes the hardest to do. " ..
keep visiting

pun-princess said...

Rightly said!
Quoting Orkut:P - the first and last true love is self love.

On a serious note, if you are not comfortable in your skin, if you are insecure about yourself, you might look for assurance everywhere, but it'll still be temporary!

Arnav said...

@ pun princess
Thanks for visiting

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

i do agree with you, but at the same time it is not an easy task. For some people it is easier to love themselves when they are surrounded by loved ones, get encouragement etc. But for some where people constantly bring them down, enforcing that "they are not good enough", it is not that simple to love yourself then.

:-)

Arnav said...

@Raaji

THanks for the visit ...

True its difficult in most of the circumstances , specially when people or so called "loved ones" constantly bring our spirits down, its one hell of a task ..
Yet we all make choices , in fact our choices define us . And when people try their best to crush our spirits we have a choice - either we succumb and encourage them , thereby accepting what they say OR
we chose to Smile and tell ourself - " No matter what they say , I believe in myself and I love myself " ..
If we chose the former , then there is no hope for a better life , the battle is lost before it begin .
However if we chose the latter then at least there is a hope , a distant light in a dark tunnel .
This hope encourages us to smile, forces us to believe in ourselves.... and sooner or later we would "Love ourselves" and in fact force them( " so called loved ones" ) to love us back and to believe in us ..

So Life a choice it is :)

Keep visiting

Jagjit said...

we love ourself --> we behave as we are :) --> We Do not put masks --> Things are simple --->Our Relations are less complex ---> people in turn love us --> Those who don't love us at least would respect the fact " that we are transparent -- --> We are confident of what we are ---> Everything is simple and beautiful around : )


Totally loved this logic of yours. Such a clear depiction of a process of mind :) Loved reading it. And yeah Nick Vujicic is no doubt - awesome.

Arnav said...

@Jagdit

Thanks Dude :)

Cat said...

Wonderfully done - and absolutley true!

Arnav said...

@ cat
Thanks for visiting
Take care

Komal said...

Nicely written (:

I really appreciate your positive attitude towards life but hatred for oneself isn't born when the person is conceived. It is developed over years eventually by the complex happening around him/her. Not everyone has a blessed life like you or me maybe...

Arnav said...

@ Komal

THanks for visiting ..

U r right that hatred for one is not an instant reaction but so is not love for oneself , even loving is a continuos process of determination and desire to be happy , it is not an instant thing .
YEs, you and I are lucky , but am sure u will agree that still we do have our own problems , which may not be big compared to so many , yet they are problems .

As i mentioned before to Raaji, life is all about choice .
Being sad and giving up and being determined to be happy - both requires the same amount of work. ITs all the question of what we choose ...

So its more about the attitude with which one faces life than the "life" which they have..


Keep Visiting

Priya Joyce said...

when I read the title I couldn't avoid the thought of this being a narcissist post :P

I am happy its not....


loved the part wat ur frnd said.I completely agree!!

Arnav said...

@ Priya
Thanks for the visit :)

Lena said...

i guess we just expect more from ourselves and then when it does not work out we are upset and angry with ourselves, but right, if we dont learn to love ourselves and be content with who we are we cant really be happy or make other people happy for that matter :)

Arnav said...

@LEna

Thanks for the visit ..

True, Expectations are something which we should at least try to minimize , be it expectations from ourselves or others..

Karan said...

Hi Arnav,
I had a look at th video, and the only word I have for how i felt is 'Speechless'. I was awed by that guyz spirit and zest.

'We can't and we should not compare our sufferings'..!! So true... I heard this somewhr - 'God gave us those sufferings that he knows can be handled by us. He matchd our abilities with our problems'..He has given us the problems with a concrete reason.. to make us experience certain things first hand and to fulfill the purpose of our lives... :) .. Its quite easy to say this and to actually go through all this.. but then we have ppl like Nick and you to remind us that we shouldn't be depressed or hate ourselves and our lives.. :)

completely agree with what you have said..we should love ourselves and just be ourselves.. coz thats the best that we can be..!! :) .. And we sholud never fail to thank God for all the priviliges that he has given to us..

Cheers.. :)

PS - I'm sorry to have visited your blog so late after you commented.. would keep coming here.. :) ..

Arnav said...

Hi karan,
Thanks for visting ...
If only we all understood "He(GOD) has given us the problems with a concrete reason" - we all would have been contended with oursleves ....

Srivats said...

Nicely writtern, so true!!
How much we deny, judge and hate ourselves! we even accept us the way we are and tend to wander away from our true self . The more that gap is the more the misery and stress in life. Being outrageously ourselves accepting and loving ourselves just the way we are is truely a hard but essential element to evolve as better human being. Good to see someone blogging about it, Great .. way to go bravo! well said!

Arnav said...

@Srivats .
Thanks :)
true the day we start loving ourselves , everything around changes as it leads to loving others too ...

Keep smiling and loving urself ..

Kartz said...

Waah, Arnav... Am gonna be the 59th person to leave a comment. Heartening to see your posts becoming popular, dude! Much deserved. :)

**Be what you are and you will never be ashamed of anything at the dusk of your life
- So damn true.

There is a lot in life to enjoy. Once you start regretting, you just lose it.

Neat post, man. Good luck with the intern!

Peace.

---
Keshi, btw, is a dudette. :P

Arnav said...

@kARTZ..
thanks for the visit.. well the credit goes to u 4r encouraging me to write more...