God - Father or Friend

God - Bhagwan - Allah - Jesus , we know him by so many names. I am a strong believer of god and completely believe that he exists , but there are certain questions that keep puzzling me, god truly is mysterious. I have till now found two kinds of believer's of God, one who seeks a friend in the almighty and the other who finds the solace of a parent in him. I somehow don't agree with both completely.
I feel though God is as caring as a mother, as supportive as father, as loving as a friend, yet there are certain questions in my mind that forbid me to accept this completely. God does take care of us like we are his children , but doesn't it make us far from him, We don't tell everything to our parents do we, now those of you who disagree please think again , I am sure your parents do not know EVERYTHING about you, but God knows everything right. Our Parents do punish us for our wrong doings ,but they never do anything that leaves us disturbed for the entire lifetime.
I often question , innocent men being killed, women being raped and children being abused and the only justification I get is that people have to pay for their deeds ,if not in this birth then in the next but one has to pay. This seems logical and fair enough but it doesn't make god a Parent does it? If God was a parent then perhaps he would teach the villains of the society a lesson , but he would not have allowed his daughter get raped , his kids being abused.
This is also the reason why I do not think God is a friend , because friends are not judgmental , they accept us the way we are. the best of friends are those who not only accept each others positives but also their negatives. How can a friend allow his friend to be in pain , I personally will never be able to see my best friends in pain , if they are wrong I would perhaps help them realize their mistakes but would not punish them for sure.
From time immemorial , priests, Pundits, maulvis have shown us a fixed path to nirvana. There are fixed procedures in all the religions which is to be followed in order to please the almighty even at the cost of human pain and misery. Priceless lives are lost in the name of sacrifice. If God is either a parent or a Friend how can he be happy at such a sight. The plight of widows in India is pitiful, they are still expected to live a life without colors, and happiness. If God is a parent or Friend , why would he not bring happiness to their life?
Yes the reason which I would get is that they all are paying a price for their "Karma" - their deeds. Right but IF my children or best friend does something wrong I would rather forgive him then give him/her such a harsh punishment. No please do not think I don't believe in god, as I have already mentioned I have every reason to believe in his existence, but I am just digging out the various mysteries of God.
So if God is not a friend nor a parent then who actually is he?
I think god is just a divine power and we need not personify him and seek a friend or a parent in him.We should just believe in his existence and in Karma. I completely agree that it is our karma which decide our fate and God keeps a track of all our deeds the good ones and the bad ones. We live a life of choices which we have made .
The almighty simply gives us the courage to live the life we have been given, he is there to show us the right path, to help us get up when we fall down. He is there not as a friend nor as a Father but simply as a divine power, watching us all the time.

These is but my way of perceiving god. I believe that in whatever way way you look at god , he is there , always. Whichever path we take to reach out to the divine power is correct but only if it is not at the cost of someones happiness.
Our deeds are correct if it makes us happy at the end , but of course only if they do not hurt anyone.
So Stay happy and bring a smile to everyones face around you and life will be just fine.

Hum bhi insaan hain !!!

The Room was dimly lighted and was painted white, patches of paint were peeling off giving the feel that the room had not been painted for at least 2 years, The furniture complimented this dull look. Arjun and Amar were about 23 years, they were first cousins . Arjun's parents were not in the house and were about to come back anytime.

Arjun, "Amar this was the best day I ever had, but dear I will miss you ," , Arjun took Amar's hand in his , and said,"Bhai nothing can change what we feel for each other, and that is what is important , I wish I could go with you to New York , but its ok, I am glad you made it... but please do not forget me ." Arjun hugged amar, and suddenly the bell rang . Arjun opened the door , His parents had returned. Mr and Mrs Gokhale were looking for a bride for Arjun , strangely they kept Arjun out of this. Mrs.Gokale hugged Arjun, "Beta I am very happy for you , I am sure you will like Shreya". Arjun smiled as he had first thought that accolades was for the admission he had got in an esteemed University in New Delhi, but then he couldn't quite understand where Shreya came into the picture."who shreya?". Mrs.Gokale had a smile , "beta we have found the girl for you, shreya is one in a million, we have just met her family, ". Arjun was shocked ,"What are you talking about ma? You should have asked me once.." He walked towards amar, tried to say something but turned towards his dad and said, "Dad you should have at least asked me once before taking an step..". Mrs.Gokhale did anticipate that Arjun would not take this easily but then she thought she knew everything about her son, " Beta I know you, she is the perfect girl for you, She likes Jazz just like you do, She is also an computer engineer , take a look at her picture, I am sure you would like her.".
Arjun looked at Amar, and spoke to him without uttering a word, Amar simply nodded his head in negative. Arjun wanted to tell something to his parents from a long time , however he never gathered the courage to do so. He felt this was the moment to tell his parents else he would have to be a prisoner of his own body like many others throughout his life but he wanted to be free.
"ma... papa I wanted to tell you something , which I know You both will not take it in the right spirits but I can't live with this duality any more, I need a life, I am fed up of this hypocrisy.. " . Mrs.Gokale looked worried she had never seen her son so tensed.
Amar was pale white, he knew what was coming up but did not know how to react. He walked towards Arjun ,"Bhai whatever you say please think it over again ." Arjun was stern." I know what I have to say, something I should have said long long ago .
I can't marry shreya because I am a homosexual. " Mrs.Gokale couldnt believe her ears she sat down on the nearest chair available. Mr.Gokale went across the room to Arjun and slapped him hard,"Do you even know what you are talking about? Beta Amar what is he saying ? were you aware of all these??", his eyes reflected anger and his face was like a stone.
Amar was speechless he was more like a statue. Tears were flowing out of Arjun's eyes. Arjun walked towards his mother, and sat near her feet, he kept his head on her lap and said , "ma please understand me, I have been living in hell for 22 years, I feel like I am trapped in my own body, Ma please understand I cant marry shreya.." Mrs.Gokale got up, and moved towards her husband, "what is happening, what will we say to the society ".
Mr.Gokahle said with a stern voice,"Arjun you have said enough, Now listen you will marry shreya . whatever has happened , forget it . If you speak like this outside this house the entire society would shun us." Ajun looked at his father,"Dad can you please think about this situation from my side, I don't love her, I would not be attracted towards her, still we would have to live together, it would be a living hell.please understand your son, Amar please say something , bhai do not stand there like a statue tell them.. the dilemma we face , tell them it would be equally painful for shreya".He turned towards his ma, " ma you are a woman , ask yourself how would you react if your husband was not straight , what would you do if you come to know that he married you for the society".
Amar spoke with a tensed tone,"Arjun uncle is right, whatever has happened is history you should get married to shreya. "
Arjun could not believe his ears, "bhai at least you don't speak like this, you know how much I love you, I need you by my side now bhai do not desert me please .." . Amar could not believe what he had just heard, he knew he was being a coward , but he did not have a choice , he had to go to New York for pursuing MS, and if he gets caught in this trouble then his parents would refuse to fund him, he went towards Arjun and slapped him with such anger that Arjun fell down to the floor, blood was oozing out from his mouth. He knew this anger was not for Arjun but for himself as he lacked the courage to face the society. Amar said,"What the hell are you saying. I do not love you, I am straight, Do not drag me into this. You are just jealous of me , as you cannot go to New York you are defaming me, you are a shameful perjurer and nothing else . "
Arjun was in a state of shock , he watched helplessly as amar walked out of the house. "ma I am not lying please at least you understand me , you always said that you understood me completely please now I need you ma ." He could not complete what he was saying, Mr.Gokale caught Arjun by the arm and dragged him out of the house,"You shameless brat , how can you play with the family image and Amar that lovely boy you can't even appreciate the hard work he had put in to get a seat for MS. Now you dare not show me your face till you decide to marry shreya. If you want to live a life against the society please don't call me you father think we are no longer there go wherever you want to go just get out "
Arjun was left helpless in the footpath in front of his house, the house where he was born , the house which he thought belonged to him , to his family, the house where he was raped when he was 12 years by the same man whom he called MAMA, the man who did not even spare Amar, and now again he was helpless, bleeding and hurt. He wanted to scream his lungs out , feebly he said," ma please don't do this to me, your beloved brother on whom you have so much pride had snatched away my innocence when I was 12, then you did not help me, because I did not tell you, today I am telling you please ma don't leave me. Help me ma "

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The road in front of the cemetery was empty but for arjun who was sitting at the foots of the great peepal tree,he resembled a dead body , he had no expression, the breeze which was blowing failed to absorb his pain. Sukhmani the local eunuch, was passing by, she was 40 years old, and was proud of what she was. She saw arjun , she knew by experience that this man was in trouble but she also knew that like everyone else he would also insult her . She walked towards Arjun, she could see by his attire that he was from a middle class family. She saw his face had no expression , his eyes were like stone, he was staring into infinity. She walked right up to Arjun and demanded money in the traditional style of local eunachs where the dialogue was accompanied by atleast a dozen claps and laced with abuses, and threats to expose her private parts. Arjun looked at her with indifference , "I do not have anything to give you ,as a matter of fact I don't have anything to give me either. please leave me ..".
He said this with a dead tone, Sukhmani felt that this guy needed help. His voice and his tone had a feminine touch to it.
20 years ago there was someone else in the same place where he is now. His pain reminded her of what he has gone through . She just hoped that his was not the same case .
Sukhmani was also shunned by the society because she (then he) was more feminine then the normal society , and finally she had to leave her house to join the eunachs because there at least she could behave the way she wanted to, among them she found friends who understood how she felt as they also felt the same. That one incident changed the entire course of her life.
Her intution was telling her that the guy sitting in front of her had similar problems.Perhaps he also had no where to go, but how could she help? She was afraid to ask directly as her help was generally not taken in the right spirits. That one incident always made her shiver, it was the day when she was expected to die by everybody in her colony including her father . But now she wanted to desperately help this young man and not get lost in those bad memories.
Arjun's mind had a conglomeration of thoughts ,he was not sure of what to do. If he went back to his house he would have to marry shreya, which he could not do,as he knew that he would not be able to give her the love of a husband, and he had no right to spoil an innocent person's life. He was still not able to hate amar for what he had done, he loved him so much, they had been together from child hood and right when he wanted his support ,amar dumped him ! , how could he do this , that was the only question in him mind. Arjun's phone was ringing from a long time, it was his ma, but he did not recieve the call because he knew that she would not understand him, for her the social image was more important than happiness of her son.He picked up the phone to switch it off but this time amar was calling him.
Arjun had to speak to him, he had to ask what made his love changed to indifference. What made him abandon the person whom he called bhai..
"Amar why did you do this to me ??" he couldn't complete, tears were flowing out of his eyes.
"Arjun why are you being impractical? i still love you.. but I cannot accept this in front of the society. Uncle and aunty are still not able to cope up with the news, where the hell are you come back, your parents need you.."
"you of all the people you are telling me this. If i go back I would have to mary shreya, I cannot live a life of duality, I just cant, I feel like I am prisonor in my own body.I cannot go back, I dont know where I would go but I cant go back home.I cannot be a hypocrite like you."
Arjun saw the eunuch looking at him with eyes full of tears , he didn't know what to do, he realized that he had been screaming..
Amar, " enough of your nonsence come back home now, where is the problem, come back get married,you have to do it,you call me a hypocrite , I don't care. at least this way everyone is happy , my parents are proud of me... I am having fun.. what's wrong in this.... "
Arjun suddenly felt that he was speaking to a stranger... He kept the phone down..
Sukhmani came close to Arjun ,and sat down beside him, " Beta do you need any help.. You remind me of my past. . I was your age when I left home and decided to go my way... I had no where to go "
Arjun had read about the lives of Eunuchs, He knew that many of the eunuchs are not born that way instead they were men like him who feel like women and hence decide to live life that way. Her eyes were watery by now,they reflected the trauma she must have gone through.
Sukhmani thought loudly ," If lakshmi mai was not there I would have not been there today,She protected me like a mother protects her child, That one night changed everything my life. " She wiped off her tears and looked at Arjun with a warm smile, " Beta Do you need help " . He couldn't help but ask himself, If it was him who needed help or was it her?
He smiled back , trying best not to look helpless ," No I am doing fine , just a bit of normal fight with family..." .
Sukhmani got up, " Ok then as you wish, ", She knew although that he would need her help sooner or later.
He lied there quite helpless. He realized that he had no where to go now , because of Amar's possessiveness he never could make another friend and thats what he needed now a friend who could help him.

1 month later :

Arjun now lived with sukhmani , he was now among one of them . Sukhmani had got him there after she found him in the same place day after day without food or shelter , He had refused to go with her initially but when he suffered from high fever and he had no control over himself, she bought him to her house with the help of her friends. Later he CHOSE to stay as there he felt there he could be how he always wanted to be - he was a WOMAN now, he called himself Sarah.
Later he was told by other friends the horrendous incident which Sukhmani always referred to.
It was when she was 22 years of age , and lived her parents in a remote town in Tamil Nadu, her name then was Sagar than. Few of her college mates had spread the news in her community that she ( then he) was a gay, and that was the end of his happiness the entire community shunned his family and his family cursed him day and night ,He bore it all as his family meant the world to him and he simply could not leave till one night , when around 10 pm he had gone to buy milk in the neighborhood shop , when on the way 3 guys, started assaulting him ,they thrashed him because he was a gay . In front of his own house where he was born and brought up now he was being beaten up by drunkards, he kept shouting for help but nobody came to save him not even his father. Things were going a bit too far , the guys were now poking him with a knife , all over the body . Blood was oozing out from each part of his body, He was numb then. He felt nothing , his life would have ended that night but for lakshmi mai. When the entire neighborhood had lost its conscience , a group of 6 Eunuchs came to his rescue , they saved him and were taking him back to his house , but his own father refused him shelter when his own son was bleeding to death. lakshmi mai took sagar to her house , and healed his wounds , and thus Sukhmani was born from Sagar.Arjun now realized why , Sukhmani had been so protective about him right from the starting.

As days passed by Arjun soon started to learn how their community worked , and was soon a part of it all as Sarah .
They now went together to the houses where a baby was born , Initially Sarah felt humiliated to beg for money but soon realized she had no other choice.

It was 11 pm , she was with Sukhmani , both of them were returning from work , and were happy as they had earned quite a lot for that day . Sarah was walking on the same road where she had spent her childhood. She was telling Sukhmani excerpts from her childhood. Sarah wandered if her parents searched for her , if Amar still loved her . She was contemplating that amar must have gone to USA and her parents must have taken her to be dead. A Strange feeling made her shiver . The road was darker than usual , they realized that the Street Lamps were not functioning . Most of shops had closed , the only shop opened was the medical shop nearby. Suddenly a bike came near sarah and started passing obscene comments. This was the first time sarah was facing such a situation , but Sukhmani was used to this , she started abusing back, But those guys were not affected by her threats. Sarah just kept numb she did not knew how to react .She grasped Sukhmani's hand and held it tightly. One of them got down and started snatching Sarah 's jewelry and her purse , Sukhmani tried to intervene , when the guy who was on the bike grasped her hair and started the bike, he dragged Sukhmani into darkness. Sarah shouted for help, but there was no one around . She wanted to go and save Sukhmani, but now her own life was at stake. The scream of Sukhmani was echoing in her ears . The guy had already snatched away all her jewelry , and was now trying to snatch her purse. The purse which had all the money they had earned for the day. Sarah protested, she knew it was going to be a tough fight.The man called her unfit for the society, started kicking her , she still hold her purse as tightly, it was not a fight for the money ,it was the fight against her dignity.She soon realized that Sukhmani could be in greater danger perhaps. She gave away her purse, but the man's agitation did not stop, he started slapping her , she had started bleeding ,her protest was in vain.
As soon as the hooligan walked away from Sarah , she got up and started running in the direction where Sukhmani was dragged into . She suddenly saw her lying on the road, people crossing her simply chose to ignore her. Sarah ran towards her, only to find that she was in immense pain . Sarah shouted for help, people simply gave her a sorry look and kept walking. Some people laughed at them and said that they deserved it as they were the curse for the society. Sarah looked at Sukhmani , she needed immediate medical help ,but she was not in a position to walk . Sarah realized that she had seen a medical shop nearby. She ran towards the shop. Little did she know that a Eunuch has no civil rights in our civil society.
She went to the shopkeeper told her that she had no money , but she would return the money the next day. She pledged him to come and see Sukhumani once. She was in tears , but all she got from him was curses , he simply refuse to help her.
Sarah was shocked the same medical shopkeeper who was helpful and courteous to Arjun , was now abusive to Sarah, She wanted to scream , she kept pledging but soon realized that it was of no help.
She now ran like a mad woman amidst the few people who were there at that late an hour . She somehow managed to get a bottle of water .She went to Sukhmani washed her face. Sukhmani mumbled, " There is no point seeking help , no one would help,us" .
Sarah had realized that she would not get help there. She alone could not pick Sukhmani up either. She knew if they did not return by morning , their friends in the clan would come searching for them and would find them . She had no other choice but to wait , she sat down beside Sukhmani , held her hand , and waited for the darkness to get over. Suddenly someone dropped a 50 INR beside Sarah, she looked up and was transfixed. A lady had taken pity on them and had donated the amount, The lady was about to leave when , Sarah held he feet and whispered ,"sorry ". The lady at first did not realize what was happening , but the moment she looked into sarah eyes, she couldn't move either. She glanced at Sarah's neck and found a mole- it was her birthmark. Tears started flowing out of both her and Sarah's eyes. She wanted to speak so much but couldn't utter a word, She wanted to help , but she knew her husband would never allow her to do so. She took out another 500 INR and placed it on Sarahs hand. Her Husband stood few meters away , he was asking her to come fast as it was well past midnight.
She started walking towards her husband , away from Sarah. Sarah kept looking at the empty road where the couple vanished into darkness .
Sarah eyes were red, hew face was white, she resembled a dead body, she was questioning the sanity of the society in her mind, she was questioning those beliefs that forbid a mother to help her own son, those conventions which made a father forget his son . Soon the red eyes gave in and tears started flowing out from her eyes and she howled like a mad, all that came out from her mouth was "MA".

The unforeseen

It was around 10 p.m, Mr Vivek Mukherjee had just finished his first peg of whiskey,the next day was suppose to be Ayesha's birth day .Ayesha was the reason why he still smiled, she was his 12 years old daughter and was the only reason why he still lived with Rama-his wife. He was planning a grand part the next day , when suddenly the phone rang and everything was changed. He picked up the phone in a lethargic manner assuming it to be for Rama, but the phone came from Mrs Bhaduri. He was told of the horrifying incident in which his Ayesha was raped by the very teacher whom he had assigned .
Vivek could not believe his ears, the glass of whiskey slipped from his hand, pieces of glass pierced through the photograph of Ayesha. The photograph was taken on the occasion of Ayesha's 5th B'day party . He removed the glass from the photograph, and asked himself, "will I ever be able to take out the pain from her soul". The cell phone rang this time and he realized that in a state of shock he forgot to replace the receiver of his land line phone hence the call in his cell phone. It was Mrs Bhaduri again, she asked him to come to mangeshakar hospital immediately.
He went to his bedroom. The very look of Rama disgusted him , she had applied a face pack on her face and was combing her hair when he entered the room , he wanted to blame her for everything . Suddenly he saw Ayesha's doll beside Rama and he could not hold back his tears , he fell down on the ground .
Rama looked at him indifferently and said, " honey, please don't come to my room when you are drunk, it affects my peace of mind, please leave".
Vivek looked at rama with anger , and was about to reply with an equal sarcasm but the doll beside her reminded him of Ayesha. She always said with,"papa please you don't fight with mummy, at least you keep you cool", and Vivek always had to obey. He got up and walked towards rama and picked up the doll and cried profusely. Rama was not sure if it was the alcohol's affect or was something seriously wrong. She took Vivek's hand in hers and asked him what happened. This touch was made after a long time, she was confused as she had never seen Vivek in this state of mind. Vivek got conscious of the touch and walked towards the cupboard away from Rama.
He opened the cupboard and threw the ipod he had bought for Ayesha and screamed, " Rama, my Ayesha, our daughter our life , has been raped." saying this he started howling like mad .
Rama ran towards Vivek and slapped him and said, " Vivek please at least don't say nasty things about our daughter".
He placed his hand on her shoulders and looked into her eyes ,"Rama how I wish this was a lie, how I wish I was under the influence of alcohol , but the fact remains. Mrs Bhaduri had called , that devil, Anand , the man whom I had chosen to teach Ayesha, raped her". He could not say a word more, he hugged her and wept.
Rama was still in a state of shock , she could not believe what she had just heard, but the pain in Vivek's eyes authenticated the information.
Vivek said, " We have to leave immediately , she is admitted in maneshkar hospital and she needs us both now."

Are we NUMB???

Today was suppose to be just another day for hema, a 5 year girl living in the slums of Mumbai. Unlike the privileged children, she had no time to play. All she had to do during the day was to take care of her siblings and do the daily chores of the house. But today was not going to be as she had presumed,today was suppose to be the day when she would lose herself to the evils of the society. She had gone to nearby shop to buy biscuits. But she could not reach the shop because her beloved uncle called her inside his house and RAPED her. He Raped his own niece. She went through it all and went back with her soul crying, she went back to her ma, but was told " forget it... he gives us money to strive forget it", she was told this when all she pleaded for was justice and was told that she was to go through this for some time. .. how long ? nobody really knows, but I know for sure that she would hate EVERYONE around her, she would be ashamed of the entire world including herself, without any fault of her.
There a are thousand of other Hema's who's future is painted RED by their own relatives . Children are suppose to be avatars of god, they are suppose to be innocent, But there are some psycho's who seek lust in these gifts of god.

Today was also suppose to be another holiday for sunny a 10 year old boy living in one of the posh areas of kolkata with his parents.He was suppose to visit his cousin today . He did meet his cousin and would meet him many more times in days to come. His cousin vivek loved him so much that more often than not he touched sunny in ways and places which are not morally acceptable. But sunny was not even aware of what was happening. Had he been aware maybe his ma and papa would help him get justice. But sunny was an innocent child, he grew up thinking that vivek was a very caring brother and what they shared was normal. But future would stand witness to the dilemma sunny would have to face about his orientation when he comes to know about the actual norms of the society.He would have to pay the price for vivek's affection , he would have to fight not only with the society but with his OWN soul seeking answers to quetions which are not answered by anyone..
These epitome of innocence loose their entire life for one MAN who took the liberty of destroying their innocence.

Today was also suppose to be another day of celebration for ramadevi, since last 4 months her house is celebrating every moment as ramadevi had conceived But today all this was suppose to come to an end . Today she was going to be ashamed of having a human life inside her. Three Teenage broke into her house tied her husband and GANG RAPED her. The same boys whom ramadevi had taught , the same boys whom she considered as a member of her own family. Today under the influence of ALCOHOL they lost sanity.
In India a pregnant woman is suppose to be respected and worshipped, but here ramadevi was raped by three minors. Her future which seemed to be full of happiness till yesterday was now in utter darkness. She would probably not conceive in years to come and then this same SOCIETY of ours would blame her- For what? for being a woman.

SAD !! very SAD!!! but FACT
What do educated people like you and me do? we simply read an article about this, probably have an discussion about how the society is degrading and get back to our routine !!
I also would finished writing this blog and get back to studies..
But don't you think it is high time we start doing something about this else everyday you and I would be mere witnesses to hema's cry , suny's innocence and ramadevi's tears, or maybe our children and sisters would have to pay the price of our numbness

Fundas of Marketing applied in relations

It was my second class of Marketing, everything was hazy, not actually because of the professor's lecture , but because my mind was not there in the class instead it was roaming around the globe, standing a witness to my dreams. I had just started enjoying my future when suddenly I heard someone say “ your wife is your customer and if you don't satisfy your customer someone else will”, now I generally do not listen to the professor when I am dreaming but this statement was interesting. Now those of you getting weird ideas, hold you horses, its not as bad as it sounds :-).
It was in that 90 minutes that I realized the importance and meaning of the statement. If we believe in it and act accordingly we would not only make people happy around us but would also help our self to lead a happy life.
Let me explain, ask any successful company what is there prime objective and they would say “to satisfy our customers” , and then ask the same to a company suffering losses and they would say “ to make profits”.
I know it sounds a bit weird to any non marketing person, but try to understand any company can make profits only if its customers are happy
hence if a company functions as if its only motive is to satisfy its customer then profit follows automatically but if it only runs behind profits then it forgets to fulfill the needs of its customer in the long run. Of course it does not mean that the company should NOT be concerned about profits – after all one has to be pragmatic.
Now let us apply the same to relationships, I am sure all of us acknowledge the fact that all relations basically function in the principle of give and take, now I know some of you will not accept this sentence and would quote examples of a couple or the relation of mother and son, but think again are these completely selfless relations, don't u expect your husband/wife to be loyal to you, don't you expect certain level of love from your partner? Doesn't a mother expect certain respect and love from her son? doesn't a son expect love and care from his mother? and if this expectations are not satisfied the person seeks the same from elsewhere.
So I hope you agree that all relations are actually give and take. Now once this is said, let me define a customer , as per my professor anyone whom you give something either in product or service is you customer.
By this analogy our friends are our customers as we offer them help, emotional support , and much more in the form of friendship, by the same analogy you would find all the relations around us are basically customers, and hence if we do not satisfy there needs they would go to some other person, for example if you do not satisfy the basic needs of your friend like helping him/her in time of need, giving him/her the emotional comfort of a friend, he/she would find an alternative friend. Its as simple as that.
The moment each one of us start thinking this way, we would make everyone around us happy, and since they would also treat us the same, we would also be happy. But the problem is that we only focus only on ourselves, we want to satisfy our desires, and hence end up hurting others and eventually ourselves. The sooner we realize this fact the better our personnel life would be.

woh ek roshni

-> Yuhi bethe the hum udas hoke,
kar rahe the guftagu apni tanhai se,
samay ki chadar dhak rahi thi un lamho ko jinhe bhula na pae hum,
mano keh rahi ho mujhse ab bhul jao un lamho ko,
tub kahi se fir aai ek roshni,
ruki bus kuch pal hi,
par de gai woh har khushi, jiski talash rehti hain har ek ko.

Aaj Azaad hun mein

kul tak tha mein heran apne takdir par,
kul tak sochta tha ki mein hi kyun, kul tak tha pareshan apne hi astitiva se,
kul tak darta tha khushi se,
kul tak tha keidi apne hi dar ka, ....
par aaj azaad hu mein,
upne bewakufi par hasta hun mein ,
aah samjha hu ki ha mein hi hun apne dar ki wajah,
aaj samjha hu ki khushiya mere hi aas paas udh rahi thi par maine akhe jo bund karli bhala kaise dekhta unhe ,
par aaj mein hur ek khushi ko mehsus kartah hun,
aaj samjha hu ki mere zindagi ki dor mere hi hath mein hain,
ha mein hi hu woh jiske paas pura aasmaan hain urne ko,
ha azaad hu mein

Pushing one to the limits

The last two weeks of my orientation classes has taught me a hell lot of things. I have never been this busy in my life, nor did I ever imagine in my wildest dream that I would be slogging for 17-18 hours, and the best part even on Sundays, while the rest of the world is having a lazy day I am running around to give presentation and attend classes :-)
Well life for the past two weeks has been tough, but the experience I had would be cherished always and has taught me lessons which I would not have had otherwise. The most important lesson it taught me is that I realized that if I want I can achieve anything but I just have to make an effort to do push myself beyond my usual limits.
All through the past two weeks I have been pushing myself to the limits. When my orientation period started on 16th June 2008, I was expected to follow a routine which seemed like an impossible task to achieve, and was not quite sure of how I was going to adjust and perform in such a competitive environment. Today exactly 14 days into my orientation ,I have realized that with little time management , one can achieve miracles. During my graduation days I attended classes for around hardly 7 hours, moreover weekends were off and still I always complaint about not having time, I always wanted to do so many things , but as usual I was always short of time .
Now I realize what a fool I had been I had so much of free time then and had I utilized that then, I would have a completely different person now with a lot of assets, but I wasted all the valuable time I had. Now that I have realized this I hope I make the most of my time.
The problem with students like me is that we don't push ourselves to the limits, now I am sure many of us would say that “who says I don't, I do push myself o the limits”, but the fact is many of us are not aware of what this”limit” actually is, for e.g.:As I have already said that during my graduation days I used to work hardly for 7 hours, and I had thought that was my limit, as a result I never tried pushing myself to the actual limit. But now I have realized the my true potential is much more than I had thought, and sill I believe I can improve upon my efficiency because I feel I am doing he same mistake again, I am stuck wit the same thought - “ I cannot work more”. Each day of our life has 24 hours, and that's a LOT of time, but we do not realize it,and end up being frustrated and winning about not having enough time to do what we want to, so people just push yourself to your limits everyday and you would find that we actually have a lot more time than we actually need.

An experience of a lifetime

There are certain experiences in life which we cherish our entire life, today was my day to have such an experience. It was the second day of our orientation program and as per our (class 1 D) schedule we were suppose to have a business exercise, I had no idea what a business exercise actually meant and simply assumed that my classmates and I would have to go through certain tasks, as in some group activity which would check our skills as a team member. I reported at sharp 08:15 as per schedule.
Professor Manohar Kamath was in charge of our class for this activity and before he actually told us the task which we were suppose to do, he said that we would realize ourselves after the task is done and truly after the task I am much more confident about myself and have discovered my potential in a better manner. The task was to go to a area called camp in pune and find a job there work for the entire day and earn at least Rs.150 and we were suppose At first the task looked prodigious, I am new to pune hence was skeptical about reaching the place on time and of course finding a job for a day and earning Rs 150/- seemed very difficult.
Swati Raheja was my buddy (we were supposed to be in pairs for this task), soon we headed towards the main gate of SIMS (Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies), and found ourselves asking for lifts to camp.
Four of us approached a car for a lift, the gentleman driving the vehicle gladly agreed to drop us at a place near camp. The gentleman owned a hand loom shop in pune , as soon as we heard that he had his own shop, we asked him for a job, he would have gladly agreed but soon we realized that we had to work only in the camp area and this wonderful opportunity slipped out of our hands. We had to take another lift from where he dropped us to camp, we were lucky enough to find another gentleman ready to drop us to camp . we were in camp by 10.40 am, and the first place we decided to go was SGS mall, we hurried to the main gate of the mall, bit only to find the mall closed it was suppose to open at 11:00 am. The first thing we saw next was a restaurant by the name of Coffee House. We walked in the restaurant and went to speak to the manager, he was skeptical at giving us a job at first but soon we convinced him by saying that we can do anything required from cleaning dishes to serving customers, he smiled and asked us to enter the kitchen there he asked us his chief chef to assign us jobs.
Then it all begin an experience which was completely new to me as the only thing I can cook is tea and coffee. Although I am a food lover I had really never tried my hands on cooking before . The first job I was asked to make was pera ( the thing which is made from the dough to make chapatti).
There I was standing with a huge plate of dough in front of me and the best part was I did not know to make peras :-), I approached one of the helpers for help and he gladly taught me the process to make peras, after a first few horrendous tries I finally managed to make things which at least looked like peras. Half an hour later I was on the top of the world as I had made around 35 peras for chappattis , lucha parothas, and naans.
The best part of coffee house was the amount of cleanliness they kept, every ten minutes one of the staff members would clean the tables and floor. My next task was peeling and chopping a basket full of onions. With the help of staff there I started my task but soon realized that it was not as simple a sit looked. I spent about one hour in this sophisticated task , and this one hour was one of the most uncomfortable hours of my life. I had tears in my eyes( no I was not crying it was the onion affect), it was very hot( after all it was a kitchen) and the worst part was I was in my formals. Half of my concentration was in making sure that my new shirt does not get spoiled. The picture was really very funny, Imagine a kitchen of a mediocre restaurant and a man wearing clean formal clothes( with tie) peeling and chopping onions .
After enquiring I realized that the restaurant actually opens only at 04:00 am, and the staff members come at that time to cut vegetables which are then kept in water, so that it is easier to cook food faster and also it keeps the vegetables fresh. My next task was to cut paneer into rhombus shapes mix them with the spices provided and then to fry them, this was something I was skeptical about, but with the encouragement of the staff there I actually managed to complete my task. Soon we were asked to report at the restaurant in the first floor .I thought we had to work as waiters , but as soon as I reached first floor I realized they had offered lunch to us, the best part was we were served the paneer dish which was partly made by me. The feeling of eating the food which was made by me (partly) was amazing , I felt confident as I realized I could accomplish any task the only thing I had to make sure was that I give my best to the task.
Post lunch there was not much work except for the snacks which they were preparing for the evening. The next hurdle was frying cutlets , I was asked to put them in a pan of boiling oil and keep turning them till they get red, yet another task which looked gigantic to me. The confidence which I had gained after mailing the paneer dish helped me sail through this task smoothly.
Finally the kitchen was closed and we were asked to leave, the manager paid us Rs 150/- each .
This was one day from which I have learnt a lot, right from travelling without money to chopping onions to frying cutlet each of the hurdles I overcame gave me a new sense of confidence.

The RAT rAce

Have you ever thought what is it after which we are running??? as if we are in a middle of a race and we only see, the end, the finish point, but the problem is as soon as we reach the finishing point we start running for another race....
Right from the moment we start understanding the meaning of words like success and failure, we start running but why? have you ever thought if it is worth running??
The fact is ; No one thinks and neither do I.
When we are students we want 100 percent in our report card, we do all that is possible to get that; as little children we sacrifice our moments of tenderness for studying, taking private tuition's,then we go to college again running to be the topper, to get the best job and as soon as we get one, we start running for promotion then again for a secured retirement. Have you ever thought where exactly does this race end? I am sure many of you have already raised your eyebrows, as you feel that running is normal and its required to achieve success, as running is nothing but what we call ambitions right!
Think it over is it really so! Why is that we tell our children to study hard, why do we run after promotions? well I am sure you will agree with me when i say that it is for peace of mind which comes only if we have enough to survive and for some more than that, and this comes only by money and for that we need to work and get promotions,for which we need to study hard during our childhood, right?
Think it over will you be really happy if you get lots of money? I dint think so, because once you do that you would want more money, more fame, and this continues.
Well may be i am being impractical, but think it over what are we actually running after. As I said its nothing but peace of mind, which we feel will come only and only if we have money but that's not true, The fact is 99% of us simply go to job because we have to clear our debts, and as a result we end up either taking the help of sleeping pills or committing suicide.
What we actually need to do is to discover that one thing which excites us, titillates us and the moment we do that- bingo ! our life will transform into a legacy.
The irony is its really hard to find that one thing, as one has to keep his mind always open and that is difficult because we are generally over stressed about the race in which we are running.
I always thought for the past 4-5 years that achieving this one thing was my ultimate goal(the one thing- replace it with achieving an ambition or coming first in some race), and so i worked hard for it and now when i actually have achieved it, I started running in another race, and suddenly it struck me, I mean what exactly was I after ? what did I really want? It is then that I realised that its not wise to lamely run a race, one has to identify himself with it . Now I feel like a small baby who has just been fed by his nanny but since he cannot use words to express he cannot say that he is done, as a result his nanny keeps stuffing food in his mouth, and here is he confused thinking what to do?
I feel the same, because I don't want to run in another race just for the sake of money.
The irony is I will have to, just like thousands others. I will again run in another race. why?? because I still haven't found that one thing which excites me and for the time being I do have to pay my bills right ! so here I go running in anther race for another finish line but yes I will keep my mind open this time wide open !

Look beyond the horizon!!

 Why are we pursuing B.Tech??
 Why do some of us want to do MBA/M.S??
 Why do we react to situations the way we do??

Many of us would simply say we are doing what we want to do.. But HOLD IT!! Give it some thought ,are we really doing what we want to or are we merely following the crowd.
4 out of ten people in any engineering college would say they are doing B.tech because their family wanted them to do so; 3 of them would say they are doing B.tech because it assures a job; 2 would say it was the most happening thing to do, and they did not want to be the odd ones… and if we are lucky we wound find 1 (the odd one) who says he is doing B.Tech because he wanted to, because he loves computers/machines…
It is actually very rare that we do what we want to and that is why we end up being frustrated or are labeled mediocre. What do you think made people like Steve jobs, Richard Stallman,Linus torvalds, Sharukh khan, Amitabh bachan the celebrities that they are today, some would say luck, some hard work, but I think the most important thing which they have is ATTITUDE , which made them pursue their dreams. Man would have remained a hunter , had the entire mankind refused to think beyond the horizon. It is the crazy belief that we should not go against the flow., which kills the singer/painter/architect/sportsman in us. It deprives us of the fame which we could have achieved had we followed our dreams. Some would quote “its all about money, honey!” , but trust me if you pursue your dream , money would pursue you, be it the mega star Amitabh Bachan or Steve jobs, CEO of Apple ,all are living testimonies to this. When we leave this college , some of us would want to pursue MBA, MS , or some would simply like to work, but just think, if you really want to do what you are planning to do….. Else the entire life you would be a slave of your own job, you would dread going to office everyday, you would be stuck in prison which you would choose yourself. We always have a choice but we should choose what our heart desires and not what the people around us decide. Give it some thought and you would soon realize that the fear of being rejected by the society, makes us go against our dreams. Actually a lot more things are decided by the society, the very definitions of good and bad, are framed by it. The manner in which we should behave, the people with whom we should stay is actually all decided by the society.
It is paradoxical that man who claims to be superior to other animals on the basis of his intellectuality, fails to show it when his fellow human needs it the most. We always believe our ears more than our intellect. I am sure if you look around you would find people branded as malicious because they are either not in terms with the so called elite or perhaps they are going against the flow .Strangely people who are not associated with them even remotely, behave in a fashion which is impertinent to them. If you ask those people the reason for their awkward behavior, you would realize they do so just because they have heard ghastly things about the person and on that basis they now believe that the person is malevolent. Though the person may actually be amiable, and just because he went against the flow, he had to face such atrocious consequences. Little do they realize the effect of their brutality, perhaps if they would have taken the pain of finding the truth, instead of solely believing their ears, they would have regretted their behavior.
Just imagine if every human would have been a coward and would have gone with the flow, then our society would still have been a primitive one and we would have been still practicing evil customs like sati, human sacrifices etc.. But luckily we do have the odd ones in our society who have the courage to rise against the tide. If even some of us give a thought about what we are doing, if we start seeking the reason to everything, not only would we dignify the lives of fellow humans , but would also be able to pursue our own dreams, and live the life which we always wanted to do. So start thinking beyond the horizon , look for a reason behind everything and you would see how beautiful life actually is. 

WAKE UP INDIA!

It is that time of the year when media is flooded with India’s achievements over the past half a century. However that is just one side of the coin .A couple of days back there was a shocking story of Hina Fatima, who was not only attacked with acid but also forced to consume the lethal liquid and the culprit was her husband, who also took the liberty of burning her eyes with cigarette butts. There are thousand other Hina’s across the country, but their voice is not heard, sadly they succumb to the torture and often end up committing suicide, few others however mange to escape and take shelter in women’s rehabilitation centers.
Today every one of us is not only talking about the economic growth of India but is also actively contributing to it. We however don’t bother about bringing justice to the society. We fail to understand that economic growth without social justice and equality would eventually be fatal for India. We have to do something right now else there would be a Hina in every family which would be detrimental to India’s growth. We have always been proud of our culture and heritage, which is laced with tradition like Rakhi, where a brother pledges to protect his sister even in the darkest of situation, a culture in which parents are the highest priority for their children. Ironically today this is reflected only in books and movies. The man today has gone astray.
A popular website quotes that three out of every ten girls are molested by their own brother; a fortnight before a newspaper quoted “Bigamous man tortures spouses for male offspring”, in the same month of July there was a depressing article about female fetus being found at Nayagarh, Orissa; Rajasthan has a women chief minister, and it’s ex-governor was also a women, yet it has one of the lowest sex ratios in the country. Such is the plight of India today.
I believe “rolling stones gathers no moss “, but I also know that rolling stones do wear out. This is exactly what is happening to India today. In order to win the race of Technology and Economy, we keep changing with time; India of 2007 is completely different from India of 1957. This desire to change has eventually resulted in the degradation of India’s culture and Heritage. Wise men have always advised us to be a part of the solution and not the problem, hence I feel that it is up to us to bring justice in society and prevent incidents like that of Hina.
We may not be able to change the ill fate of Hina Fatima, who is in a critical state, but if each one of us takes a conscious step to give respect to our sister, mother and wife then I am sure thousands of Hina would be able to live a life of dignity. It is solely our responsibility that we inculcate into the next generation our culture and heritage. We may not be able to change the past but we can at least make a better tomorrow, by teaching our sons and brothers to treat women with respect, and our daughters and sisters to fight for dignity and respect. Only then will India reach the peril of success and we can heartily celebrate India’s independence.

Food for thought

I often wonder, what is it in man that lies, murders, steals makes him commit the most inhuman crimes. Lately I was reading the biography of Kiran Bedi , and I was inarticulate, by the way the prisoners of tihar jail were treated. It was really shocking to read that the guardians of the society , failed to distinguish between a sensitive human being and a pile of flesh and bones. It was not the lack of hygienic facilities , or the brutal punishments that shocked me , but the treatment of women prisoners. There were at least a dozen reported cases of molestation, which seemed to be the only punishment applicable to women prisoners. Though, this was a tort in itself, the incident which left me aghast was a case which I’m quoting directly from the book:
“In the evening some unfortunate women inmates from this branch (tihar) were forced to come and stand at the outer gates of the prison and customers brought for the privilege of fondling these women through the bars of the main gate”.
Kiran Bedi rightly said “if there was a hell on earth for women, this was it.”
It is really a shame that all this was happening in a country, which ironically is called a motherland, where goddesses like Durga and Kali are worshipped, but one sign of relief is that this took place years before, and now things have changed thanks to Dr.Kiran Bedi, who was appointed the IG (prisons).
Today, such is the situation, that not a single day passes by, when there is no reported case of human torment. Last week there was a horrifying revelation, of a serial killer, mandinder singh by name, who had mercilessly murdered innumerable children, whose skeletons were discovered in his backyard. These incidents, compel me to ask “where are we heading”, there has always been a huge cry about the “brain drain”, but we should now concentrate on “culture drain” taking place, which not only makes the country weak, but for a country like India where culture is the pride of all Indians, it would lead to disaster.
These people (tormenturs) are mentally unfit, and their mind is not at peace. A few decades back it was only in the western countries where such inhuman activities were heard of, and India was at peace. But today the tables are turning. ‘Yoga’ is the “in” thing in the western countries , and thus today such crimes have reduced, thereby proving that yoga does sooth the angry, frustrated, mind, but ironically the place where yoga was bigot, has lost its peace today, the once god fearing Indians, today are fearless, they are too busy in pursuing their career. They have become dangerously ambitious and all they know is themselves.
Strangely, in a country like India where people like mother teresa, Gautam Buddha , preached that the only shortcut to god, is by helping those in need, the poor, the helpless, the disabled .Today people are no way near to follow these wise sayings. Hedonism has attacked the country in a very short time and at an alarming rate. 30 % of tihar inmates were foreigners , who were caught for the possession of drugs and nearly all of them are still under trial, they were abject when Kiran came, as they had no one in India, from whom them could seek help, worse still their lawyers had drawn large amount of money from them, and then disappeared in thin air. This is the treatment they get in the land, where people are supposed to treat guests like God.
If we do not do anything about our society now, it will be soon too late, and we will loose our identity. There is an urgent need for the Indians to realize the “culture drain” . We must preach Indian culture , to all specially yoga and meditation to all agitated minds around us, else soon we will have people from other countries who after expertise in this field, would preach the same to us. \

khushi

Happiness is something which is craved by all , and people have their own strange ways to stay happy.A good majority of us will say one can never be happy, as by nature man always wants the best,so as soon as he gets what he desires he starts,looking for anew desire , a new fantasy.
A businessmen always fantasies that he would have a global empire, and feels that he will be happy only when that empire is established.An unemployed youth would tell you that all he needs is a job and that would make him the happiest person on earth.A child would tell you that a truck full of ice-creams would make him happy.A new wed bride would tell you that if her husband is happy she would be happy.
There are infinite reason to happiness, which differs from person to person, but I strongly feel a person is happy only if he wants to.I may sound absurd, but I feel rather I believe that our mind is the strongest tool , god has gifted us with, if we just tune our mind to stay happy, we will feel the difference, it's all a state of mind, and the best part is, it is completely under our control.
Happiness actually comes from within, and the reason to happiness can be just about anything,all we have to do is to look around with an observant eye.Although today people feel that materialistic things will make us happy,the fact is it is the small moments of life,shared with our beloved ones,that titillates us, when we lose hope, when we feel that life is nothing but a big black hole which is sucking the very life from us, it is at this time,when moments like our first date,our first friend or perhaps the silly things which we did in school or college, brings a smile,a hope in our face.
Happiness makes a person beautiful,healthy and everything positive that comes to our mind.The secret to happiness is not achieving our desires ,but it is simply to feel happiness.Life is never a bed of roses, but we can at least feel the comfort of such a bed,just by closing our eyes.
Let me share one incident .A few days ago, I was in a melancholic mood, and was simply surfing through the channels, when i saw a report on Afghanistan,and this report led to the realization that happiness comes from within.In that report I saw a boy not more than 8 years , was smiling away to glory, though his background was nothing more than burnt villages.His happiness ,it seemed had no limits, it seemed as if he owned the world , and this happiness was due to nothing else but a small piece of bread. It is strange that a small piece of bread which is eaten by thousands of people in an unthankful manner can bring such a big smile on someone's face.The smile did not speak of the inhuman conditions in which he lived, nor did it tell that the boy had lost his right leg in the war, it only spoke of the happiness which he felt.That smile made me realize how lucky I was to have a family , to have a house,to have a college and most importantly to have a fully functional , normal body.There I was thankful to almighty, that I am in India and not in some war ridden country, and I realised that I had a million reasons to be happy, and thus realizing that happiness is no where else but within us.

A thing to dream of and not to tell!!

Aryl Larks leafed through the stained yellow pages of the diary. The last three entries clubbed together caught her eye (the entries prior to this cluster were dates some 12 years back).

FEB 5 - one equation, just one set of inconsistent data .Lies between me and my dream. I am almost through, but for the last step.

NOV 11-Thirteen years and another half a dozen months. It's been a long wait, a very long one indeed. But it was worth the struggle. I finally have everything on paper.

Oh god! Oh god! Should I have done it? The bunch of papers contains earth shattering results.......

NOV 15- No, it cannot be. I cannot let yellow papers veil my success. I cannot let the baby die in the womb itself. The whole world has got the right to know about it...

HOLY CHRIST...forgive me if I am making a mistake...

Aryl Larks, always had control over her emotions, but today was not her day. She had been awake for the past 24 hrs, and had no intention to rest in the next few hours or perhaps the next few days. She clung on to the diary with tears in her eyes. She was enervated ,after 1 year of searching all she found was a diary. She remained there sitting in the dusty basement until she heard the approaching steps of someone coming. She quickly hid behind one of the giant boxes. She realized ,that she had been in the basement for over 5 hrs, and the noise she made had aroused the suspicion of the guards, who had come there to inspect. No sooner, had the guards left than she left the basement the same way she had sneaked into it, that is through a secret gateway, that her father had shown her .Going through that tiny passage, she also went down the memory lane. She recollected the times when she used to come with her father through this passage .she remembered all the things, her father had taught her, and momentarily the pleasant memories of the past turned into melancholy with the thought of the way her father died. It took her 25 minutes to reach her apartment, which usually took only 10 minutes, but time was not in her mind, the only thing that raced in her mind, were the questions that had been haunting her for the past 5 years, answers to which she sought ever since the mysterious death of Dr. Harry Larks, her father, who would have created a chaos in the field of technology, had god been gracious enough to give him what all human crave for, TIME.

Amidst all these confusion, one thing which was clear in her mind was the realization that the only purpose of her life now, was to find out what was the dream, her father wanted to share with the world, a dream which she knew would create havoc in the world by unfolding the mysteries, perhaps, for which even the world was waiting. She wanted answers for a lot of questions, but primarily she wanted to give her father a tribute which he truly deserved .she wanted Dr. Harry Larks to receive the fame and recognition for the project on which he had spent 2 decades, Project – LIFE. She was having a sense of nostalgia, her father had been a friend , philosopher and guide to her, and now she was left alone with no one to confide in. She suddenly felt very weak. If only her father had been alive!

Her immediate search was the papers and records of the projects which had been misplaced, lost or stolen, something she was not sure of. She ransacked the entire apartment like a sniff dog, in search of any document which could answer her queries. Just as she was about to give up her 2 and a half hours search , she found it, a piece of paper, which was yellowed with time, and what seemed to be a piece of a scientific report. She gave the page a closer look, it seemed to be a report on something related to the project life, and it dated back to 15^th March 2020. Aryl was sure that the paper had something to do with the "set of equations", which was referred to by her father. Indeed it was some sort of complex algebraic formulas which she could not comprehend. There was one more thing which caught her eye, a name which was curiously similar –

Dr.Joetsna , who according to the paper was the Assistant Professor in charge of the project. She at once hurried to the mini – library of her father, to find out more about the abstract equations. Dr Larks had an amazing collection of books. His vast collection ranged from philosophy, arts to science and technology.

She started with the algebraic books which were her father’s favourites. She tried her best to concentrate on the books, but Dr. Joetsna occupied a greater part of her subconscious mind, yet it was purely her determination which did not let her deviate. 5 hours later she understood the equations. She had always been a genius in mathematics, but that alone did not mean anything. She had to search for more papers, she had to go back to the basement. Soon the thoughts of Dr. Joetsna haunted her mind, and suddenly she realized she had forgotten to wear her ear rings .The ear-rings were special to her, her father had gifted them, and he made sure that she wore only that pair, something which she detested.

She was supposed to remove them only at night, provided she had worn them during the day. She recollected how her father always pestered her to keep the ear rings in night only in the special safe kept in her father’s lab and he made sure that she obeyed him.

She then tried calling Mr. Alfred Hawkins, the only living associate of her father, but she was shocked to find no element of surprise in his voice, instead he was more concerned about the diary which she had found. Somehow her intuition was telling, not to give the diary to Alfred. She was skeptical about this whole idea of giving the diary to him. Amidst all this chaos she decided not to loosen her pragmatic approach to life.

She made an instant decision to drop in N.I.R.T (National Institute of Robotics Technology), the research centre where her father had spent 3 decades. She took a cab and rushed through the busy streets of Manhattan (New York). A conglomeration of emotions surrounded her, as she tried to concentrate on what to speak to the officials of N.I.R.T.

After passing through a series of security checks, she was finally allowed to meet the Head scientist, Dr Frank Christe. No matter, how hard Aryl tried to explain her situation, Dr Frank Christe, showed no interest in Aryl, or in Dr. Harry Larks. After ten minutes of futile conversation, Aryl was brushed aside, in the context that, Project – Life had nothing to do with N.I.R.T. and they could not divulge the information, of anybody working there. He even refused to acknowledge the presence of Dr. Joetsna in N.I.R.T.

Aryl was highly disappointed by her first attempt to do something for her father. She was walking past the entire group of Scientists with a sullen attitude, when someone collided with her, and before she realized, a piece of paper was in her hand, and the person disappeared …

She quickly kept the paper inside her purse, and took a cab back to her apartments. Inside the cab, she looked at the paper: "Remove the Mask it is surely a Good Deed and May He quit. Dog has granted Elephant is not quit. Rise. Does the Zeal Quit! Before Going check out.” She at once knew it was an encrypted message, but why ? Why someone had to give her such a message, she had no idea. No sooner had she reached her Apartment, than she began to decrypt the message, having done a Doctorate in Mathematics, and she at once started guessing the key. To start with, she separated the alphabet in capitals; she got a set of characters which made no sense – R T M S G D M H Q D G E N Q R D Z Q B G. It still didn’t make sense, was she going in the right direction, or did she miss out something? She recollected that when her father was alive, he used to pass all the messages in an encrypted form. Though he generally used a simple Encryption algorithm. in which the message was first reversed, then each alphabet was replaced with the one before alphabetically. She knew that this one could not be that simple, yet she wanted to try it out, this time she got a message which looked like – SUNTHENIREHFORSEARCH, and lo! she got it, the final decrypted message was "search for her in the sun ". At least for the time being she assumed she had got the right message, but now the question was, what does the word sun stand for. One thing was sure; the person who gave her this message was familiar with Dr.Harry larks and herself. The first thing which amused her was, her apartment was named "Sun apartments" .She was confused, could it be that simple? Does Dr. Joetsna live in the same apartments as she? She even considered the idea that perhaps someone was trying to fool her. But she was not in a position to take chances. What if the message was true!?. It was her father’s strict order that she was not supposed to interact much with other people, hence she did not even know the names of people who shared the same apartment. She at once went to the Security in charge and inquired about Dr. Joetsna .To her surprise, Dr. Joetsna lived in the flat, right opposite to hers. Too many things had been revealed to her in such a short time, she felt uneasy, a bunch of questions remained unanswered in her mind yet she knocked at flat no.103 –the flat right opposite to hers – She was both exhausted and confused.

Dr.Joetsna was around 55, yet her age did not kill her enthusiasm and energy. The ambience of the flat spoke volumes about Dr. Joetsna’s personality. The walls were painted white and the room was neat if not posh. Strangely she was at ease with

Dr Joetsna. She was not sure if this was because, she was interacting with another woman, or because she was talking to someone at a personal level for the first time since her father’s death. Aryl had very little idea of what lay ahead of her. As soon as she sat in the warm cozy ambience of the flat, she sprang up as she saw a portrait of her father in the drawing room. She couldn’t believe her eyes; her father had never mentioned about anybody named Dr .Joetsna. As she stood there staring at her father’s portrait, Dr.Joetsna came there, patted her shoulder and told her that Dr Harry Larks was a good friend of her. She even recognized Aryl; she knew almost everything about Aryl.

Aryl was too shocked to speak. She looked through the window panes and saw the sky was changing its color, it was dusk. The day was coming to an end, but her queries were not answered yet, she could not afford any rest now. She started asking Dr.Joetsna about N.I.R.T. Initially to her disbelief Dr.Joestna reacted as if she had never heard of N.I.R.T. , but Aryl knew she was lying . The paper she found in the morning was the proof. After an hour long conversation, Dr.joetsna finally agreed that she had worked in N.I.R.T. , but she still said that she had no idea about project – LIFE, and that she had never worked in the same project as Dr.Harry Larks.

It was well past midnight , when Aryl went back to her apartments. She decided to visit Dr.Joetsna more frequently, perhaps she would divulge, after she comes in personal terms with Aryl. Aryl had no idea what she would do next, over the next week. She kept re-reading the diary, and she tried to find all applications of the equations she had found, but yet she did not come across anything convincing. She decided to visit the basement

again .She was left with no other choice . She knelt in front of her father’s picture , and asked forgiveness -she was about to do something which her father had strictly forbidden her to do.Though this was her second visit to basement after her father’s death , she made up her mind that this was going to be the last visit. This time she took a bag with her , she had decided to bring everything which had her father’s name embossed in it.

She kept her designer shoes aside, and wore walkers , because she did not want to make any noise this time. This time she was quick , she did not waste any time sitting in the basement. She got hold of a file which contained about 50 blank sheets and picture of a black cat . Though it made no sense to her , she knew she did not have time to think. She kept the file and a host of other things inside her bag. The first thing she looked in her apartments was the file, there she realized that the sheets inside the file had holes in them, pin-size holes . It looked really wacky and the picture of the black cat , just didn’t make sense . She noticed a sentence in the picture just below the cat – " I am the number that represents a woman’s best friend" . She was sure this was not just a line , it was a key , but the question was ‘to what’ ? She again tried to figure out the holes in the papers. Suddenly everything made sense , 6-7 holes made up an alphabet , and thus a word was formed , and then a sentence was formed.

She could at last see the silver lining. She was suddenly full of panache .She knew , she would achieve her dream , she knew Dr. Harry was going to be famous soon.

The next two weeks was spent in writing the entire file of papers in a legible format . To her disbelief and happiness the file was the synopsis of the project – life. She could not believe what she read , her father had designed a robot – that could not only talk , but was designed to behave and feel like humans. Dr.Harry Larks had foresighted the technology and with his dedication and knowledge in fields like cognitive theory , artificial intelligence , he had created an artificial human. Aryl read the part containing details about the robot around 4 times. She now wanted to see the robot herself , and read for the sole purpose of finding its whereabouts .She was highly impressed with the way the robot which was called S236A-1 , was programmed to learn from the behavior of other humans.

Aryl was highly enthusiastic about the way S236A-1 functioned .She was inarticulate . The page in front of her said that the best thing about S236A-1 was the way it gets charged ,the robot did not have to depend on any human for this. Instead it simply was charged by something which looked very similar to ear-rings , but only they had to be charged regularly. She was surprised to see that ear rings were exactly like the one she wore .The best part was that the battery could also be charged by solar power. She was getting highly inquisitive about the robot. She further read that the ear-ring had to be charged in a special charger , which resembled an oven or perhaps a safe. This charger was also similar to the safe in her father’s laboratory. The next few pages contained the construction details of S236A-1 , along with sketches of the robot . Somehow she was not at ease with the idea that the robot looked an exact replica of Aryl herself.

She had always pondered over her body’s physiology , which was strikingly different from the human physiology which she had read . This was something to which even her father did nor respond , and she was always told , that the only reason is that she is special , and she should not talk about this to anyone except her father . The more she read about the robot and saw the working sketches of S236A-1 , the more horrified she was . She could not believe it , the robot’s physiology and anatomy was similar to her in an astonishing manner.

She had to confirm her doubts , she couldn’t possibly live in this dilemma she had to find the true ARYL. Suddenly the lines "I am the number that represents a woman’s best friend" , made sense to her . She somehow believed that the picture was some message hidden by some steganographic technique. The number she believed was 6-the atomic number of carbon. She believed that the sentence was an adage: diamond was a woman’s best friend ; and diamond is made up of carbon which is represented by 6-it’s atomic number. She was not sure of the number but she had to try it. She had to change the last 6 bits of each pixel to the binary form of 12-carbon’s mass number , or was it the other way round ? She did not know if she could find anything that would calm her down, or perhaps she find something that would take away her very identity , she was not sure .

Two hours later , she saw something for which she was not prepared . The decrypted picture showed how S236A-1 transformed to Aryl. She stood like a statue , though now all her queries were answered , yet the fact that she was not human , was too strange to accept. She looked outside , it was dusk , the day was coming to an end , she looked at the birds flying back to their nests - that part of the day which brings thoughts of longingness, but she knew she had no rest anymore- her fight had just begun .She stood there as dusk transformed into night and the night broke to dawn .

She had no idea what she was supposed to do next. Her very existence was a question in itself. She could not understand why her father never spoke to her about this. She suddenly started having a feeling of anguish for her father. She simply could not understand why Dr Larks induced her to dream, to aim for higher things in life, when he knew that she was a machine. She was not sure of what she was thinking. She had to talk to someone, someone humane enough to understand her.

She knocked on flat no.103 again . Dr.Joetsna was shocked to hear Aryl had discovered the robot in her. Dr.Joetsna stood in disbelief as she listened to the desperate plight of a daughter whose one and only aim was fame and recognition of her father , but what touched her was the fact that the daughter was not just a daughter , she was a machine. She had decided to break Dr. Larks’ promise , she had to give the letter written by him. She had to tell Aryl about the frustration that Dr.Larks was going through when he decided to end everything.

Aryl was given a 4 page letter which as per Dr.Joetsna was the last piece of communication from Dr. Larks before his death. Aryl was left speechless as she read that her father did not present his creation among the scientific intellects , because of the love for his daughter. He buried his 13 years work just for Aryl , just because he wanted Aryl to live a life of normal human . All this while Dr. Joetsna looked at Aryl as if she was in front of a divine creation of god, she was really amused to see so much of compassion between a human and a machine .

Aryl knew it was not easy for her father to give up his dream , his aspirations , yet he did what perhaps no other human would do. Aryl’s desire to give her father a tribute which he truly deserved grew stronger than ever. She had decided to unveil the creation of her father , she had to prove to the world the high intellect of Dr. Larks .She knew that this meant it was the end of Aryl , death as humans called ; but she had no other way .

The sky suddenly seemed clearer than before. The sun looked brighter. Dr. Joetsna knew that it was not the end , instead it was a beginning , the start of a new revolution.